The Wittery (Not so serious) Guide to Why Wit is IT
1) Wit SELLS
If WIT were a person they’d be shaking your hand and congratulating you on the wonderful used car you just bought. You’d take the keys and drive away before you realized that when you left the house you were only planning on buying a bag of milk.
And then you’d remember you left your new car at Witty Will’s Used Car Emporium. Wit is that good a salesperson.
2) Stand Out from the Crowd
Although the Wittery Writers prefer to stay holed up in their garrets with their quills, bottles of ink and parchment, their words like to walk the streets wearing a big yellow bird costume, shaking their tail feathers in the faces of everyone they meet.
Big yellow birds and witty words have an uncanny knack for getting noticed.
3) Humor is Viral
Like the flu you pretended to have to avoid that work meeting, people find it hard to build up an immunity to WIT.
Symptoms of exposure to Wit include, but are not limited to:
- laughing to the point of severe stomach pains
- an uncontrollable urge to share the pain with others
- a frenzied obsession with finding the share button on web pages
- spraying commonly ingested liquids out of noses
4) Make Google Happy
Google is a beast with a big magic search box plastered on its forehead. To keep Google happy, you must feed the beast premium meat. It also helps to scratch its back. If you do this it’s more likely to spit out your business name when a Googler pops a query into its box.
The beast is best kept happy by letting it gorge on engaging fresh content. The next time a user rushes to the beast with the box to find out about the many uses of yak spit or how to build a lawn chair out of compost (and waits the 0.067885 seconds for the 1,765,987 relevant results), your business could end up being the chosen clicked one if you follow the happiness rules.
This will of course only be relevant if you are a yak spit reseller or a purveyor of compost, but the same theory applies no matter what your business.
5) Create the buzz… get people talking
Unless you’re being held captive and submitted to some kind of perverse dry content torture, you probably haven’t heard the story about the guy who sat down on a chair and stayed there.
But if the guy fell out of his chair in a rum induced stupor, splitting the crotch of his three-sizes-too-small pants and showing his in-laws just how well endowed he is, you’ve probably heard the story a hundred times.
6) Big Brands Do Wit
Big brands have nothing that you don’t have… aside from loads of money.
Luckily, words can be cheaper than your Great Aunt Hilda, and the Witty Writers sit fingers hovering ready to make your customers forget that you sell hand-knitted vests for cats from your basement and Walmart does not.
7) Ban the Bland
On joining The Wittery, each writer is presented with a powerful bland banishing stick. Following the completion of a strict training regime (consisting primarily of watching cartoons and eating bowls of cereal) they are permitted to go forth and banish the bland.
Which means, right now, Witty Writers are sitting in their garrets playing with their sticks and thinking of ways to beat the greyness out of your brand.
Sticky
Like the time you bonded your fingers together just to see if crazy glue was in fact crazy, people get stuck on witty content and find it hard to leave.
Businesses who use witty content as a sales tool often notice a surge in emails from customers’ close relatives begging them to cease and desist with the witty content so that normal family life can resume.
Relatives complain that witty content is wreaking havoc at home because the sticky individual has spent the last three months on the one website, has a permanent silly smile plastered on their face and is beginning to smell bad.
Best advice to deal with this? Include a “stickiness” disclaimer on your site and direct disgruntled relatives to it. Of course, once the relatives visit your sticky website, they’re likely to get stuck too. Happy Days!
[This article was ghostwritten for Witto by a Wittery Writer. Just to prove we take your funny business very seriously, you'll find the "serious sister" version of these tips here.]
You are visiting The Wittery® Blog (aka The Witty Writer Marketplace)
Visit us to source Witty Content for Your Business.